Hare Splitter

So far every post’s title has been the name of an episode of a television show. In this post I’m going to talk about Bugs Bunny and I had a hard time choosing a title. Should I use an episode of Bugs Bunny that has hare in the title? Or should I use an episode that uses the word rabbit? The reason this is such a dilemma is because they’re not the same thing.

Over the years there have been hundreds of Bugs Bunny commercials and almost all of them have hare or rabbit in the title but Bugs Bunny can’t possibly be a hare and a rabbit because they are two completely different things. So which one is he?

The first difference between a hare and a rabbit is the way they are born and they way their mother raises them. Unfortunately we’ve never seen Bugs Bunny’s origin, nor have we seen his mother. We don’t know from that if he’s a hare or a rabbit.

What we do know is that Bugs Bunny is very tall and long, which suggests that Bugs Bunny is a hare. Hares have longer legs and longer ears than rabbits and Bugs Bunny has both long legs and long ears…or at least we think he does. He has longer legs and ears than a regular rabbit, but he’s also not a regular rabbit. Maybe he is a rabbit and a anthropomorphic hare would be even larger than Bugs Bunny. I’m going to say that this points to him being a hare though.

There is one thing that points towards Bugs Bunny being a rabbit though. Rabbits are more known for burrowing through the ground and living in the ground. Hares usually just hide among the plants and run away from any prey they might see. Of course we know from the cartoons that Bugs Bunny usually burrows through the ground. Even if he does always take a wrong turn at Albuquerque, that still suggests he is a rabbit.

The only other difference between rabbits and hares is that rabbits usually attack in a group. Bugs Bunny never has back up though. He’s always taking on others by himself so I guess that suggests he is a hare. Unfortunately the fact that he’s called “Bugs Bunny” doesn’t help any because the word “bunny” is used for both rabbits and hares.

We may never know the truth for sure but it’s quite possible that everybody’s favorite cartoon rabbit isn’t a rabbit at all.

Grin & Bear It

Today I was writing an article about the Top 10 Fictional Bears of all-time. I briefly touched on a subject that has always bothered me about a certain fictional bear. I’ve never talked about it before because nobody has ever mentioned it before but finally I must address it here.

What the heck is up with Yogi Bear’s attire?

Okay, so dress attire has never been a strong suit (get it? dress attire, suit? Ha!) in cartoons. Mickey Mouse has pants but no shirt. Donald Duck has a shirt but no pants. Bugs Bunny doesn’t wear clothes when he’s himself, but wears clothes when he wants to be a woman (which is another whole topic.) But Yogi Bear has the most ridiculous outfit of all.

Yogi Bear wears a tie. That’s cool, i can respect that. But apparently Yogi doesn’t want to wear a shirt. Now Yogi could just tie the tie around his neck and no problem. But instead Yogi has the collar of a shirt so that he can tie his tie around his neck. However, he doesn’t wear the rest of the shirt! Just the collar. What? Why? This makes no sense!

Wearing a collar without a shirt would be like wearing shoe laces without shoes or wearing belts without pants. How ridiculous would that look? So please Yogi Bear, put on a shirt or take off the tie!

On a sidenote, my top 10 fictional bears list made me reminisce about one of my favorite bears, Paddington Bear. I used to love Paddington Bear but haven’t seen the show in probably 20 years. So of course I looked him up on YouTube and sure enough I found several episodes, including the episode where Paddington Bear takes a “dry bath” because it’s “safer than using water and much less messy.”

Rebel Without a Clue, Part 2

I have scoured the internet looking for tips on how to make my blog better. But I’ve been cursed with the desire to rebuke all good advice and therefore must do the opposite of any blogging tips I receive. That is why I will not listen to the latest tip I got: Choose your niche wisely, write about one topic and don’t be too broad.

Bah, forget about that! Stick to one? No way. I will talk about all the following things on this blog.

- God
- Video Games
- Comic Books
- Bible Verses
- Jennifer Connelly
- Green Lantern
- Pirates
- Robin Hood
- 80’s Movies
- William Zabka
- Recipes
- Coffee Mugs
- Hats
- Fairy Tales
- Shirt pockets
- Middle Names
- Hippos
- Violins
- Facial Hair
- Bicycle Chains
- Sword Fighting
- Exercise
- George Washington’s Head
- Third Base
- Prepositions
- Dinosaurs
- Cereal
- Trailers

Palindrome

I’ve found in my studies of useless information that there is a word that has been created for the fear of just about anything. There’s ancraphobia, the fear of wind, and chaetophobia, the fear of hair. There is a fear of string called linonophobia and octophobia, the fear of the number 8. There is even novercaphobia, the fear of your step mother.

But I’m convinced some of the names given to these fears are evil tricks on the part of those that named them. The perfect example is aibohphobia. Aibohphobia is the fear of palindromes. Of course we know that a palindrome is a word that is spelled the same both forwards and backwards like racecar. But the word for the “fear of palindromes” is actually a palindrome itself. Aibohphobia and aibohphobia (that’s the backwards spelling) are the same word forwards and backwards. So if somebody has a fear of palindromes then every time their doctor talks about aibohphobia it’s not going to do them any good, because they have a fear of that word. That’s just cruel people.

Fun fact: Solutomaattimittaamotulos is the longest single-word palindrome. It is a Finnish word that means “the result from a measurement laboratory for tomatoes.”

Rebel Without a Clue, Part 1

Recently I saw an article on “Tips for writing a blog.” Unfortunately I have this strange desire to not listen to what anybody says. It’s like I must rebel against any good advice I’m given. That is why instead of listening to all this good advice, I’m actually going to do the complete opposite.

This is the first piece of advice I’m not going to take in this post: Write About Something You Love

Come on. That’s too easy. I could easily write about the New York Mets or Jennifer Connelly, but I need more of a challenge. So instead I will write about something I hate: the color yellow.

Let’s start with why I hate the color yellow. I think my hate for the color yellow originated from the Green Lantern comic book. Some people think that the color yellow hurts Green Lantern, like kryptonite for Superman. That’s not true though, the color yellow didn’t hurt Green Lantern, his ring just wouldn’t work on yellow objects.

I’m pretty sure they retconned the whole yellow thing though (that means he can use his object on yellow objects now. But I still hate the color yellow. It’s just too bright. What can I say? I’m a dark person. If I could work at night and sleep during the day I would. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not goth or anything, I like reds, blues, greens and even purples. But I like dark reds, dark blues, dark greens and dark purples.

Yellow is an annoying color, look no further than a traffic light. Green means go, Red means stop, but Yellow is just confusing. I know they implemented the yellow to warn us that the traffic light is about to change to red, but it just throws me off. Do I slow down and wait for red?? Do I speed up so I can beat the red light?? I don’t know what to do! Usually I end up either running a red light or stopping in the middle of the intersection. Dangit Yellow! Why must you exist?

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Hello! Welcome to my 47th blog. If you’re familiar with my past blogs I’d say this one is slightly better than blog #23 but slightly worse than blog #18. Sorry! But there’s just no beating blog #18!

Anyway, this is my first post so I’m supposed to tell you all about myself. But I’m not going to because my past is shrouded in mystery. Not really, I just don’t wanna. All will be revealed eventually though, just keep reading. For now I’ll let you know that I write freelance articles over at Associated Content (dot com!). All 1100+ of my articles are listed in chronological order with no other way to sort them. So it is difficult to sift through them and find the good ones. So here I will list a few of my favorites so you can read them and not the crappy articles.

The History of Women Pirates

Cartoon Physics 101: What is Hammerspace?

The Five Most Overlooked Verses in the Bible

Six Underrated Dr. Seuss Books

Ten Most Addictive Video Games of All-time